I remember a relationship I was in many years ago with a partner who wanted to explore aspects of his sexuality that were totally foreign to me.

And even though I was very willing to learn, to grow, and to do my best to experiment and try new things, I found myself feeling intimidated by not knowing how to provide him with what he wanted.

I felt pressured to be something I wasn’t.

I felt obligated to play a role I was not comfortable in, that didn’t come naturally to me.

And I felt overwhelmed by the complexity of his desires.

No matter what I tried I could never seem to “get it right”.

And this led to a lot of “train wreck” sexual encounters that left us both feeling hurt and unfulfilled.

Enter the three most common "bad idea" solutions couples use to try to solve this issue:

• Bad Idea #1: I suggested we open the relationship so he could get his needs met with someone else who could do it better than me.
• Bad Idea #2: We both withdrew emotionally and tried to get our needs met elsewhere (solo play, porn, cheating, etc.)
• Bad Idea #3: Eventually I concluded that I simply was not enough for him, he needed things I was unable to provide, and I ended the relationship.

Overall, there was a lot of pain because we did not have the roadmap or skills to navigate our sexual differences.

We lacked the knowledge, the education and did not understand the core reasons as to why we were struggling so much in our intimate life.

We both wanted fun, flow and ease, we both wanted to try new things and explore new territory, but we had no idea how to do that in a safe and mutually fulfilling manner, so we inadvertently created “train wrecks” instead.

And the final train wreck was the ending of the relationship.

I know my story is not unique.

I’ve been a couple’s sex therapist now for over a decade and one of the biggest challenges I see couples face in sex is some variation of these “train wrecks”.

The details may vary, but inevitably it leads to the same outcomes EVERY time:

• sadness
• frustration
• feeling disconnected
• feeling inadequate or broken.

And this invariably causes couples to resort to one of the three bad idea “solutions” I mentioned above: (opening the relationship, exiting the relationship through cheating, porn, alcohol, drugs, only engaging in solo play, etc, or ending the relationship altogether).

That’s because, just like myself in that past relationship example, most couples don’t have the knowledge, skills, or roadmap to effectively solve this issue on their own.

I am grateful that since then, I’ve learned, healed and grown so much. I’ve studied, trained, and applied the best of the best of the best approaches out there to my own life and as a result have incorporated that wisdom into my work with couples.

Because there IS another way, and that way DOES NOT have to involve opening the relationship, cheating, ending the relationship or getting divorced.

I believe the world is a BETTER place when couples are happy and having good relations in the bedroom….after all, that’s what sets your intimate relationship apart from all other relationships right? And when things are good in your intimate relationship everything else is also easier and more fun.

>>>>>>>>>>Special Invitation to a FREE Masterclass>>>>>>>

You are invited to please be my guest!

I’m hosting a live virtual masterclass on this very topic where I’m going to help you understand the primary causes of mismatched desire and how to solve it with my 5 keys to get back on the same page in intimacy so you cand deepen connection and avoid the “train wrecks” or resorting to those “bad idea solutions”.

The Connection Code Masterclass is happening next week on Wednesday January 22nd at 12pm EST/ 11am CST/ 9am PST.

>>>>>>>>To get access to this private event register here now.>>>>>>>>>

Here’s an overview of what I’ll be teaching:

• The 3 causes of mismatched libido and how to fix it.

• The #1 question you must know the answer to for more confidence, connection and mutual fulfillment.

• Why when you FAIL to do THIS ONE THING it leads to disconnection, frustration and confusion.

• The reason why “communicating more” is NOT the solution and what you should be doing instead.

• Why the mainstream sex and intimacy “gurus” have it all wrong and what you should be paying attention to instead.

​

Heads up that this is a private event and participant cameras will be off for the entire duration.

Plus, there WILL NOT be a replay so be sure to attend the class live.

>>>>>>Register now here to learn how to avoid more "train wrecks" or "bad idea solutions" so you can get back on the same page for good!>>>>>>>

XO

Susan

Susan Morgan Taylor, MA

Somatic Sex Therapist for Couples

Creator of The Pleasure Keys Immersion Experiences and Couples Retreats

P.S. Have you heard about the Pleasure Keys Immersion Experiences and Retreats for Couples where I teach committed couples how to get back on the same page in intimacy so that they can experience more fun and flow and overcome mismatched libidos for good? We are now enrolling for our 2025 immersions and spaces are filling fast. Learn more about our April Pleasure Keys Couples Immersion retreat here.​